Usually, my “caregiving” blogs relate to caring for an ill or demented loved one. However, two recent experiences made me realize we are all hurting more than usual. The constant drumbeat of wars and their victims, of a paralyzed and hostile Congress, of a cut-throat election year looming ahead, create a miasma of general unease.
We all need a bit of caregiving.
And sometimes that unease is not general, but specific. Despite reports of economic improvement (inflation reduced and recession avoided, growing number of jobs, steady or lowering interest rates), people simply aren’t feeling it.
When I went to a nationally known pharmacy chain store to get my Covid vaccination for this year, the pharmacist spoke from his heart as we sat hidden behind the privacy screen. With no prodding from me, he told how corporate lays off pharmacists and asks those still on the job to work 10 hour shifts. A fellow pharmacist offered to come in and work a few hours on his day off to help his fellow professionals. On top of that, someone in management canceled his planned March vacation!
I write “professionals” for a reason. Does this chain think pharmacy technicians can replace pharmacists? If so, I’m switching pharmacies.
I sympathized with the guy because I noticed companies exploiting the challenging Covid years by raising prices and compromising quality through staffing cuts or replacing skilled professionals with technicians. (Would it be too much to expect a human being to answer the phone rather than a recording?) When I said as much, he gave me a fist bump and said, “Thanks for listening.” He sounded so grateful! How sad.
A few weeks later, while checking into a hotel, the twenty-something desk clerk asked if I was a writer when I gave him my email address. When I said I was, he told me how much he wanted to write, but felt there were barriers in his way. I encouraged him to follow his dream and shared some resources available for writers and their craft. We talked for quite a while and then he said, “Thanks for listening.” He sounded so pathetically grateful.
Unspoken Pain
When both those young men thanked me for listening, I could hear sadness paired with relief in their voices. They needed to share their angst, and rightly so. The world today is more unfeeling and hostile than even a few years ago. It’s far more difficult now to navigate the life challenges my generation sailed through.
I valued the opportunity to “mother” them by covering their wounds with the salve if just listening.
There is great healing power in that.
It is truly a gift to really listen to what people are saying and we are blessed to have people like you in this world lol
Awe shucks, Lenette. And people like you as well.
I find that when people find out I’m a nurse they tell me things that they may not usually reveal to others. For that reason, I feel honored and try to affect a good listening position: head forward, eyes engaged with the speaker, frequent nods and affirmations that I’m hearing them.
I wasn’t always a good listener. Often when people spoke I waited, often impatiently, until it was my turn to deliver my piece of the discussion.
Over the years I have realized that I learn something by listening well. I actually assimilate their story into mine and hold it close to my heart. I see that you do that too, Sue!
Listening is a loving art, just as you described, Cathy. And the best part, when we listen, we learn so much.
The constantly increasing use of technology, i.e. machines, to deal with human communications is steadily increasing the feelings of loss, isolation, sadness, etc of many of us…. The business models requiring less human communication to maximize billing/more money, for corporate profits, are reducing caring human contact. It seems like a replay of stories that older people of many long former groups & civilizations were noted as feeling that the upcoming younger generations were inadequate to address the tasks that create a good life.. I just read one of my notes: ‘Every thing can be changed by facing it, but nothing can be changed by not facing it’. It’s beginning to feel that the people we ridiculed for years who went around with signs saying ‘the end of the earth is coming’, were not so crazy after all.
Thank you for sharing, Sharon. I agree completely and really miss human contact in the business world. I find myself screaming at the recording “Speak to a representative!”